Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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