Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
