A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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