bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
