So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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