omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
