I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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