I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
