piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
