you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
