Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm always down for nudity.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
