Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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