It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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