The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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