butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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