We're like a lot better than the average bears
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
