I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
