Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
