Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
