Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize