We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm really into asian looking animals
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
