with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
