Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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