There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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