ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
