I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
