Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
