Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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