your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
