We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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