you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
