At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am available for nakedness
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize