dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize