He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
is that a dick in a sweater?
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