Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize