just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
