spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
