weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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