ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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