Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
