I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
