hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
