my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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