Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
