Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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