I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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