I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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