She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
