I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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