I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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