he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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