Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
