And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
