It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
