ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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