Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
