Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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