the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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