K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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