Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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