You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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