We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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