if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
